OMGosh do I have a story for you. (I hope you like reading my posts and not only looking at the pictures...because this ones a good one!)

My sister Andee and I have decided to start weekly tanning in prep for the upcoming wedding of our younger sister Jessica in June. I've been VERY nervous and skeptical because I haven't been in a tanning bed for over 10 years - since high school. Oh AND  the fact that I'm a GINGER!!! Hello! Red hair, pale/white skin, light eyes and FRECKLES!! I'm a spf junkie and never wear anything lower than 50. My forearms get burnt with setting my arm on the car door, with the window down, during the summer. Even if I'm driving a short distance. Here I am an adult now and instead of researching the proper way for a GINGER to go tanning, I decided to let the 16year-old behind the counter tell me what to do. (That could be my first problem, aye?) Of course she recommended the most expensive bed..saying its the bed I'll least likely to burn in. Plus she only said to go in for 6 minutes. I asked if there was a cheaper bed that's a close 2nd to the most expensive one and she said the next one down, I'll have an 80% chance of tanning and 20% chance of burning. Okay, GINGER'S don't like those odds. I need 99.9% NO BURN! Not so surprisingly, I opted for the more expensive bed.

Now for the embarrassing (and worrisome) part. Like I said earlier, I haven't tanned in FOREVER, so I had completely forgotten what to do. I got into my room, striped almost completely down, lotioned up, grabbed the little eye protectors, layed down and pulled the bed roof over me. WOW! Those dim lights were HOT! After applying the lotion, I literally felt a burn on my skin. Then once I got in the bed, the heat of the lights made it worse. Then I started freaking out because I couldn't see a timer - Was I trusting this 16year-old 'know it all' to pay attention to my bed? To turn it off when 6 minutes is up? What if she forgot about me? What if the bed didn't turn off after 6 minutes? How long would I stay in there before noticing???? FREAK OUT! I decided to pay attention to the radio. Most songs are what like 2 1/2 to 3 minutes long. By the time I thought this I knew I'd heard at least one song all the way through, so I decided as soon as the current song playing was over, Id jump out. 6 minutes or not. Then I'm stopped of all thought and heard, "Erica?"  I responded, "Yes?"   "Are you ready?"  My mind freaks out again. Of course I'm ready! I've been baking for almost 2 songs!!!  Then replied "Yes, I'm in the bed already." And she came back with "Did you hit the start button on the wall before hopping in?" Oh wow...there is a start button on the wall? How old am I? This 16year-old is probably laughing like crazy thinking this silly old woman doesn't even know how to turn the darn thing on. UGH! So I get out of the bed and hit the start button. Noting better than my fat butt trying to hop in and out of this bed multiple times. Once I hit the start button the bed illuminates with neon lights. I'm thinking, "huh, this is starting to look familiar." And then I see the timer inside the bed. DUH!!!

Once lying back, in the now illuminating bed, it gets hot. REAL HOT! (And I thought it was hot before.) Then freak out returns and I'm wondering if the 4 or so minutes in the 'dimmer' lighting counts towards my final 6 minutes. How long should I stay in? The timer is set for 6 minutes...but did I baste too long? Should I get out before the 6 minutes is up? My skin is HOT, feeling like it does when I'm loitering somewhere in 100 degree weather. I'm praying this doesn't ruin me. I can hear the skin cancer arising, I can picture the lobster skin and I can imagine the stiff/sore feeling I will have for the next week. WHY DID I DO THIS?!?!

Luckily the bed shuts off the neon lights after only 4 minutes, then there is some kind of a cooling session for 2 minutes. (The lights are back to dim but there is a fan going.) Then I hop out when the bed turns itself off and I dress...all while thinking of the nightmares I listed above...LOBSTER SKIN! SORENESS! SKIN CANCER!!!!!! This wasn't the best decision I've ever made.  (Not to mention the pain my wallet feels. First I get the most expensive bed they offer and then the tanning lotion!!! HELLO!!! They are e-x-p-e-n-s-i-v-e!!)

I've been home for 30 minutes - I can clearly see color and I'm feeling a teeny bit of warmth & stiffness. This is the first time my GINGER skin has seen any form of UV-rays so far this year...I should count on getting my a little burnt. I'm just hoping the almost 2 songs of basting in dim lights, covered in what feels like butter, doesn't overly effect the 3 minutes of actual UV-rays. (I think I now know what a turkey feels like....)

My #124's - is a picture of the 'butter feeling' tanning lotion. It clearly reads on the back "Are you ready to lose yourself in a labyrinth of dazzling, dark color?" Hmm...A GINGER shouldn't buy into this. Can you even picture a dazzling, dark GINGER? Um, nope! Then it reads "...this product is not for the faint of heart." Seriously I should have read that before!!!!!!!!

***Maybe tomorrow I'll post a picture of the impending LOBSTER color base!!

1 comment:

  1. word of advice go spray tanning I know this great place Bella Airbrush and it's only $35 and it lasts a week for a real tan look(no orange or lobster red:))