#162

Life has been slightly chaotic as of late and the stress has affected both Joe and I. There are many positive things about our marriage (negative ones too) but the one thing we need to survive, is re-connection. We need that one on one time to regroup, communicate and cherish the moments we have together. We have rules, no phones, no TV, no distractions, no other people. Sounds silly, I know, but it is something we both 'need' to continue a successful partnership. When one person isn't being cooperative with this re-connection or one person is consistently busy, it really does affect the other. Like this week, I've been busy from morning to night every day... without even having a meal with Joe, without more than a 5 minute conversation, without any kisses or signs of affection....nothing. Since I've been subconsciously distant, Joe's weekly 'mental' routine has been thrown out of whack and his moods have changed. He only wants to play video games, doesn't want to leave the house, no cleaning or straightening the house gets done. I came home yesterday at 10pm and he hadn't showered since getting off work at 5 and our dogs were still outside in the dog run, he hadn't eaten nor was he aware of what time it was. Its like he immediately went to his 'comfort' place and made himself distant from the rest of the world.

Okay, now you know a little about our relationship functionality - more than you probably want to know - but having that alone time is very important to each of us and we need to make time for it at least twice a week. With our schedules...that makes it difficult. 

Anyway, I had to cancel plans with my family to regroup with Joe tonigh. We desperately needed a night alone (at least for 30+ minutes!) Once I got home from work, we headed to our favorite restaurant for dinner and just sat. Sat for over an hour, just going over the past week, planning the next week, giggling and making fun of each other. It was literally THEE best hour we've had together all week. It was so surprising how different both of our moods were after this brief moment of re-connection. Luckily I really did marry my best friend, because he is the only one that centers me. That helps me get back on my feet. That makes me feel normal, loved and appreciated.

Our lives are going to get busy again over the next few days. The wedding is now only 3 days away and we won't have much 'alone' time until after the wedding is over. But I'm super excited for everything that comes with the wedding. I tried on my dress/shoes/accessories this evening and it felt so great to see it all together. (Thank you Joe, Andee & KJ for letting me give them a fashion show)  YAY for the exciting days to come!!

#162 - A simple re-connection with my one and only. Best night of the week.